WHAT'S IN A FAITH? - A LOVE STORY

"I am not religious, used to be, but not anymore," he said.

"Spiritual?" she asked.

"You can call me that," he said

"Okay," she said with a deliberate pause. He didn't sound spiritual at all. But she didn't care much since faith, religion and the likes hadn't played an important role in her life at all.

This was their first date together and the two hit it off immediately. At first they met every month, then every two weeks, then every week and they were soon in a relationship.

"Do you have to go?" she asked him as they were sitting enjoying lunch.

"You know I attend the prayers every Thursday," he said

"Isn't there anything I could do to make you stay?" she questioned.

"You know the answer to that," he said.

"You know when we met a year ago, you said you weren't religious," she paused and waited. When she knew all his attention was on her, she continued, "I think you lied. You are more religious than most people I know".

He smiled, "I don't think it should matter to you much. You don't believe in these things anyways. We have managed so far, haven't we?"

"Yes. We both ignore what the other is doing in terms of faith. How sweet is that!" she said sarcastically.

"What are you scared of? We both love each other and that is what is more important".

She kept quiet. This was the first time either one of them had used the L word.

Five years and a kid later, they were having fights everyday, so they went to a marriage counselor.

"I can't do this anymore. This pretending. It's affecting baby in a bad way too, he doesn't belong anywhere," she said to him sitting in front of the counselor.

"I can't believe this. We are married for life. You can't just give up like that. And anyways, for baby to belong anywhere, he needs to know his scriptures. Everytime I take him to the prayer house, we fight and you say things that are just opposite to what the priest says. The kid is getting confused," he retaliated.

"I married a guy who believed more in our love than his faith. It's been 5 years and I can't see that man anymore. All I see is a father who is more concerned about teaching his son his faith than anything else," she confessed.

"Well, he needs to know something about his faith," he said.

"His faith! His faith! Baby doesn't have a faith! Remember, we decided we would let him decide for himself when he grew up. Nope, you don't remember anything at all. You know nothing but your faith," she shouted.

"I don't think it should matter to you much what baby follows anyways, since you don't believe in these things. We have managed so far, haven't we?" he said.

She had heard this same dialogue earlier and knew how things would go. She hadn't realised but having no beliefs had now become a faith too. She had to decide what was important to her. He was right, if she didn't believe in any faith, then it shouldn't have mattered. She loved him and the baby more than anything. The fights stopped.

She let him teach the baby all about his faith. Occasionally she had her reservations, but they were happy together not letting faith come in between. When baby was in his teens, he chose to unfollow his father's faith. At first he was angry, but then realised that the son knew the difference between right and wrong, was caring and was turning into a fine young man. Rest mattered less. 

In the end love won.

GRANDPA'S GIRLFRIEND

"You never told us about your first love, grandpa," said Atharva.

"I haven't? That's weird. Are you sure?" asked Grandpa.

Atharva nodded in a positive and the old man knew that the adolescent would pester him till he got a reply.

"We were neighbours. She stayed on the ground floor and me on the top. For years I had observed her quietly as she was friends with my sister-in-law and often visited our house. She was unlike the other girls around with fire in her eyes. But I had never spoken to her," said Grandpa.

"Never! Why? This is so sad, Grandpa," said Atharva.

"I liked her, so the moment she came in front of me, I would start blushing and would run away to my room".

"Wow. Those times were sure special, Grandpa," said Atharva.

"I know Athu. At 16, you already have a girlfriend, while at 21 I was in love and couldn't confess it to her," said Grandpa.

"So, when did Grandma come into the picture?" asked Atharva.

"Let's go chronologically, shall we?" asked Grandpa.

Atharva nodded, so the old man continued, "My sister-in-law was very clever. She realised my weird behaviour around our neighbour, so she asked me about it. When I told her the truth, she informed me that talks were already going on for her marriage, so I needed to do something immediately".

"This is getting worse, Grandpa".

"I know. And I felt worse. But I didn't do a thing at all. Just moved about like a tragic hero".

"Then what happened?" asked Atharva, but the old man had stopped the story as he saw his wife walking towards them. The old lady sat on the sofa next to her husband.

"So what are you two talking about?" Grandma asked.

"Grandpa was telling me about his first love," said Atharva.

The old woman looked at her husband and said, "It's been years since I heard this myself. Go on".

"You know about this Grandma?" Atharva asked.

"Yes," smiled Grandma and lovingly looked at her husband.

"Well, on a certain day, we just stumbled into each other on the steps," said Grandpa, then paused as he could see his grandson listening intendly. 

"Come on, Grandpa. Continue," said Atharva.

"I was looking like shit because for the first time ever, she spoke to me and asked - Are you OK?" said Grandpa.

"It was the long beard and the blood shot eyes. The poor girl was scared to hell," joked Grandma.

"Thats so not true," said Grandpa frowning at his wife. Then he continued, "I looked at her beautiful face and as of by magic words poured out of me for the first time. I said - I  am not OK. You are getting married to someone else and I cannot digest that. I love you".

"Wow. This was epic, Grandpa. What did she say?" questioned Atharva.

"Are you ready to marry me?" stated Grandma.

"And I said - Any day," said Grandpa and smiled.

"Then what happened, Grandpa?" asked Atharva.

"Lots of drama. We both spoke to our respective families. In the end, everything was sorted and the same year we got married," said Grandpa holding his wife's hand.

"I had always liked him. In fact, going to meet his sister-in-law was always an excuse to see him," said Grandma.

"What? So all this while you were talking about Grandma! Why didn't you say so earlier?" asked Atharva.

"More fun this way," said Grandpa, laughing loudly.

Atharva got up from his chair and went across to give his grandparents a hug, "Happy 50th Anniversary you two".

EMMA & STEPHEN

He touches his hair with his right hand. Stephen needs a haircut actually, but he is planning to grow his hair till his occupation allows him to. Wants to prove to people that he is a rebel. I look at him quietly eating his salad as we are in the restaurant. He realises it. Suddenly I am the one he has shifted his attention upon.

"Something on my face?" he asks.

I nod in the negative.

"Then?"

Should I tell him? I nod again and he returns to his food. On his last morsel he signals the waiter for the menu.

"Dessert?" he asks.

I nod again. I should tell him something at least.

"You are mighty quiet tonight. What happened?"

"Work stress" I lie.

"Isn't it always? I mean we are hustlers Emma, each trying to succeed the way we can. Don't beat yourself over it," he advises.

I nod again. I need to tell him.

"I want to go dancing with you," I finally open up to him.

"I can't dance and you know that," he replies.

"I can and I am a very good teacher," I confess.

"We'll see," he diverts.

I look at my watch while he is ordering some ice-cream. He notices.

"Is it getting late?"

"Nope"

He looks at his watch, then exclaims, "It's nearly 11! Why didn't you say something? But dont worry, I will drop you home".

I smiled. If only he knew what I was thinking. Time really didn't matter to me.

"Emma, you are doing that thing again. Hello! Where are you lost?"

"I like you," I blurted out.

"What?"

"I like you. I know we decided to remain friends, but I can't control myself from liking you. Do you like..."

Just then the waiter got the desserts in. Wrong timing dude. 

We quietly ate our ice-creams, not glancing at each other at all. When we were done, the bill came in and we split it like always.

I should ask him again. But I didn't say a word.

As we stepped out of the restaurant, he asked, "Do you want to hail an Uber or walk?"

My house was walking distance and I didn't want us to part so soon. What if I never see him again?

"Call it from my place. We can walk till there," I said.

He nodded and we started walking side by side, in silence.

Dammit. Screwed this big time. Should have kept my mouth shut. But couldn't, could I?

My thoughts went back and forth as we continued strolling.

"Emma. Emma," he caught me by my arm, "your laces have come undone".

I stared at his face again. We had stopped walking now. As I stood there trying to fathom his words, he quickly bent down and tied my laces. Then getting up he gave me the tightest hug.

"I adore you, my lost monkey. A.D.O.R.E. A little more than 'your like' and a little less than love."

Tears of joy rolled down my cheeks as we then continued walking, but this time hand in hand.

ALWAYS - AN UNCONVENTIONAL LOVE STORY

As she stood amongst a crowd of students her age, she felt lost in the chatter. Nervously she touched the right strap of her college bag. Nothing she wanted more than to run away, but she had enlisted to attend the festival along with a few of her batch mates, people who she didn't relate to and here she was. 

Three of her batch mates approached her. She smiled. Yes. No. They talked in monosyllables. Then they left her standing alone in the middle of the crowded registration hall.

She looked around in the crowd, a stranger was staring at her. She looked at him from top to bottom. He was smartly dressed with a camera in his hand.

Why is he staring at me like that? I will punch his face if he takes my pic. she looked away. A minute later he had disappeared.

There were going to be speeches by authors, actors, directors and the likes, music, dancing and what nots spread across three days and she had already marked the events she wanted to attend. In between she would catch up on that book she was reading. Now all she needed was a quiet corner where she could read Shakespeare. Outside the main hall, at the entrance.

It was the first day and she had already attended two events and the third one was after an hour. So she quickly grabbed a bite and sat to read her ebook. Midway she heard someone ask, "Can I?"

She said, "Yes," without looking up.

Next she heard a shutter sound and realised someone had clicked her pic.

"Hey! You can't take my picture without my permission," she protested angrily.

It was the same formal guy.

"I asked you and you said yes," he replied back holding his camera.

"I thought you were asking permission to sit".

"Well, you shouldn't be so preoccupied like that".

"Fine. But can you delete my image?"

"Give me one reason why," he said smiling

"For obvious reasons dude".

"Some girls beg me to take their images".

"I am not 'Some'".

"Then who are you?"

"Sameera," she said putting her hand forward.

"Dev," he said shaking hands with her.

Time went by fast as both of them started chatting, sitting next to each other. He was a student like her, but instead of writing, which was her specialty, his was photography. He was just leaving the festival when he had spotted her, sitting quietly in the corner, reading. Serene. Unlike the image she was in the morning when he had first spotted her. Then she left him to attend the last event, while he left for home.  

The next day her eyes searched for him, but he was nowhere to be found. After lunch, she found her self standing near the entrance and looking at her batch mates talking just outside the entrance.

"Sameera, come here. Shailaja is telling us how she met her boyfriend. Don't stand there alone, come here," shouted one of them.

Gossip! Breathe Sam, Breathe.

She slowly walked towards the group and stood there listening to one of the girls describing about her first encounter with her guy, while the remaining asked her questions occasionally.

Sameera wasn't paying attention. The feeling of running away came back to her. Short talk and gossip felt frivolous to the introvert. She looked around and saw a known face and ran towards him.

"I thought you said you were not going to come," she told him.

"I said I wasn't sure," said Dev.

"So what brought you back?" she asked.

"I met someone back here yesterday and was hoping she would allow me to click her image."

"I thought you already took one of her's".

"I deleted that".

"Why?"

"Because she hadn't given me permission for it".

"And what makes you think she will give you permission now?"

"I saw her standing miserably next to that group and then running towards me, happily. As if I had just rescued her".

She laughed loudly. Then catching his arm, she recited,
"In this stupid chaos,
my ears seek silence.
When this world gossips,
I search  the truth.
I am lost and yet
you have found me.
And now you want to
capture my essence?
But I ask thee,
my dear sir,
will you be able to do justice
to me?"

He leaned towards her and softly whispered in her ears, "Always".

P.S: It's been a year since #BNLF and this one has been inspired by the event that introduced me to wonderful friends. #Missing you guys. 

LETTER TO MY EX THAT I WILL NEVER POST

Dearest Shaun,

          

   On good days, I am thankful for our relationship, laughing on the lessons that I have learnt from it. On bad days, I wonder about my life had we still been together. And though in all sense, I know that we broke up for the developing cracks, the lost love and other factors, these things don't stop me from questioning - what if.

   The initial days after our breakup were tough. I don't recall if I cried, but I think I did. I was hurt and disappointed. Add to it, I felt betrayed. My negative emotions came from what I believed we could have worked things out. Later, it was more for feeling that you should have been more honest about your feelings and told me the truth, we didn't belong together.

   It must have been tough living a lie. Wanting out and still continuing.

   Every relationship, no matter who falls out of love is damaging to both souls. You get over it finally, but it always leaves scars. Some beautiful, some not so.

   My aim in writing this letter is not to blame you or myself. But, more for thanking you and relieving you of the guilt that your subconscious has or will ever have.

   We both met at a time when we were perfect for each other. We grew apart and that is the way of life. With you, I sang, danced, rejoiced, cried and am a better person because of my past of which you were a major part.

   So, thank you my dear love. Thank you for everything.

Your's Sincerely,
Jessica

DEATH OF A FRIENDSHIP

Eons have been written about breakups, love and even friendships. But what about the death of a friendship? And I don't mean the types where you call each other friends, but in reality just hate each other. No, I mean the type, where each of you have enough secrets to blackmail the other and often a single word or song or incident can trigger a memory to cherish.

What happens when such a relationship breaks off? Maybe you saw it coming, maybe you didn't. Maybe you initiated it, maybe they did. But it is a sad event and often needs to be grieved in the same manner as a death.

And I say this because there have been times when you have lost touch with your friend, but you can always call them or message them and start where you last left. But not when the friendship is dead. That is another story. You can't fight, you can't shout and you can't even cry. And even if you do, the person has stopped caring or shows that they don't care.

And it hurts like crazy. Because what it signifies is that a person who you thought understood you or was your twin or more like a sibling wasn't as invested in the relationship as you. Or that they never understood you in the first place, but you never realised that. Then that's what you get served. You deserved it!

I have lost friendships and people have given upon me. And I still carry the scars of abandonment, even though they took place years ago.

I don't really know why I carry them around, but I still have images, videos and proofs that our friendship not just existed, but thronged and flourished evoking jealously in many. Maybe it is because I need those proofs as reminders, that I am a wonderful person capable of forming bonds - pure and true. Or maybe I am just waiting for the day when I can look at them and not feel an iota of pain.

Well, with time I have realised that in the end you need to live in the present. And only relationships that are honestly worth will survive.

So, the next time your best friend tells you that they do not want to be friends (most often they just ghost you), thank them, then wish them luck and take your time to mourn. Do not contact them unless it's an emergency and hopefully the healing will be faster.

Like I believe, death of a friendship is not the end, but a beautiful opportunity to start afresh with someone else.

THE TROUBLE IN FINDING A GUY TO MARRY IN LATE 20s

"Hi Aunty! Shalu's there?" asked Ritu to her best friend's mom. She knew the answer to the question, since the two girls had just been chatting.

"In the room," said Aunty letting in Ritu.

Ritu knocked on Shalini's room door and slowly opened it. The other girl was lying on the bed with her eyes closed. Ritu plonked herself besides Shalu and closed her eyes too.

"Why are you here?" asked Shalu.

"You know why I am here," said Ritu.

"I cant offer you any support or advice. I too am in the same f-ing boat, frustrated as hell," confessed Shalu.

"Aunty is driving you crazy as well! What is it - matrimonial sites or personal meet ups?" asked Ritu.

"One followed by another. First you rak your brains over a website, where you have to constantly remind yourself that you are looking for a match and not buying products. It is so difficult to put yourself out there only to be judged by others. And no matter how much these websites talk about giving the girl the preference and security, it is still scary," said Shalu.

"Well, that is the easy part. Once you like someone and decide to meet, there are so many other complications that come up. I have met so many suitors now and yet the awkwardness of meeting the first time remains. Often I feel like a prized good that is being shown to be sold. It's a feeling... I am not putting the blame on my parents or anything," said Ritu.

"I spoke to mom about it. But..."

"I spoke to mom as well. And she said if I had a problem then I should have found someone for myself," said Ritu.

"We tried, didn't we? You dated that engineer, while I dated that hotelier," said Shalu.

"Pretty sure, we would have been thrown out of our houses had we told them we were dating. That time age was on our side . Now it is like whoever we get should be fine, as long as we don't stay single," said Ritu.

"I will be 30 in 2 months and you will be following soon behind," said Shalu.

"I am dreading that number. Don't know what will happen then," said Ritu.

"You know I have started to question my life. Marriage, kids, families..." said Shalu.

"What!" exclaimed Ritu.

"I mean do I really want a marriage? What will it prove anyways? And I realised that society doesn't give women an option to think apart from marriage, kids. They say they are being open and accepting, but the numbers are nomial," said Shalu.

By now Ritu was startled. She couldn't believe what her friend was uttering. So she got up and shook the other girl. "Shalu, are you on drugs or something?"

"You won't understand," said Shalu looking straight at her friend and realising the fact that Ritu didn't want a solution. She was just wanting her best friend to hear her out.

"Stop staring and say something," said Ritu.

"It's sleep deprivation talking. Forget what I said. You haven't yet told me why you came here," said Shalu.

And Ritu animatedly started telling Shalu about the new guy her mother wanted her to meet.