It's Saturday night. While doing my quarterly cleaning in the morning, I had stumbled upon a photo album of mine from my school days. As I flipped through the pages, I recalled a conversation that I had had with a friend, who was elder and wiser to me then. Marvelling at my friend circle, he had said, "Li, enjoy these friendships while they last". I had cursed him then, and I do even today. I should have paid more attention to his words.
It was the the early 2000s. Those were the pre-social media days when my not-so-smart mobile was only used for calling or messaging. Often, my mom had to drag me to sit and eat food because I was on my phone talking to my bestie. I wish I could get back those simpler times when a friend wasn't busy to talk, chat or act goofy with you.
Because as much as I tried, one by one they left. Some got married, while some changed. Hell, I evolved too. I made new friends, at college, work, gym, at random places. And each time I learned, friends leave. Even the oldest ones. And while your heart breaks each time, some more than others, the wise thing is to let them go, with a smile.
The only regret I have is I never told them how much they meant to me at the peak of our friendship. If only I could go back and tell them, give a hug, maybe they would still be around. Just maybe.
I don't know. Today, as I look through my album, and the people that don't exist in my life I wonder whether I could have done something to make them stay. A few at least. Because in this fast-paced, technology-driven lives that we live, with 700 facebook friends, I still feel all alone. I miss Sam's contagious laughter, Vaishu's cooking tips, Steve's reassurances and Bubble's comforting embraces. And what I would give anything to get them back. If only.
