WHAT TO REPLY WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THEY ARE SAD

I hate the way love is portrayed in movies. Not all, but most of them. It's like a fight between romanticism and realism and I would like to blame the former for adding unrealistic and fancy expectations on the big shoulders of love.

I can go on and on about it. But let me give you one example and maybe follow it up later with more posts.

This is a conversation between me and a guy who is trying to pursue me.

Him: Hi
Me: Hi
Him: What happened to your whatsapp profile pic, why is it so sad?
(The image you see in this post is my current profile. It's the one I often put when I am in a bad mood. Most friends know not to message me when I put the image. It's my DND)
Me: Because that is how I feel.
Him: Awhhhh. I am feeling so bad for you. Don't be sad. You being sad makes me sad too.
Me:
I don't reply for the next few minutes after seeing the message.
What I want to message him is this.
'Why the hell are you sad? I mean it's my right to feel whatever I want and sadness is as much a part of our lives as is happiness. So chill.'

I didn't send that message to him thankfully. As you can see, he wouldn't get it. He would think I am just another girl going through PMS or something like that. It would be difficult to make him understand and lead to a fight. I don't like unnecessary and wasted fights. So this is what I finally messaged.

Me: Hey. While I appreciate your concern, rest assured my sadness has nothing to do with you. It is a phase that I dwell in sometimes and will let you know when I feel better.
Him: OK

Thank heavens he didn't say anything more. See this is where romanticism kills everything. Me in a sad mood is my prerogative.  It may or may not be something to do with my partner. Romanticism says if he loves you he will understand you. That is why I am supposed to not say a word and let him scratch his head to decipher why I am sad. Because just telling him would be too realistic and maybe that is not love.

This is how I would react if someone said they were sad.
Me: It's OK to feel sad. Is there anything I can do to help?

It's practical. Maybe the person may not tell me then and there what their problem is, but the least they will know is there is someone out there to help them. All they have to do is ask.

It's not perfect and I change my answers depending on each case. But I am learning to be a realist in a world that is full of romantics. There are times when I have to remind myself why I switched sides. See I am doing it even now. But believe me it's far less painful than being a romantic in the Bollywood/Hollywood sense.